OATH, n. In law, a solemn appeal to the Deity, made binding upon the conscience by a penalty for perjury.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

We can find peace among ourselves, when we find peace with nature.

How shall I tell you of the world you faceStrident with sound of weapons and of hate, Make you aware now of the narrowing spaceBetween the hope of mortal and his fate?

Education should learn from the positive side of gaming - reward, accomplishment, and fun.

Dead battles, like dead generals, hold the military mind in their dead grip.

I have and I will always work to promote a civil public discourse.

When you think of Napster, you think of music. But the first thing that struck me was that this was an important case not only for the music industry but for the whole Internet.

Has worrying about tomorrow every changed it?

I'm interested in music, not in my image. If someone plays something fantastic, that I could never have thought of, it makes me happy to know it exists.

Even my mom. I have to tell her, "If you want a snack, don't go to bed with potato chips. Eat a handful of pistachios and a handful of dates."