Obama has had more fundraisers than the last six presidents combined. And he's still losing in the money race!

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

Everything we do in life is based on fear, especially love.

You pays your money and you takes your choice.

Some want to be owned, and some want to be saved. Only some want to exist in the glow of contentment.

Politics and ethics belong to different worlds.

Jesus has made the life of his people as eternal as his own.

Turn the lights down, the party just got wilder.

In a world of hunchbacks, a fine figure becomes a monstrosity.

Laughter boosts the immune system and helps the body fight off disease, cancer cells as well as viral, bacterial and other infections. Being happy is the best cure of all diseases!

We are born, we live and we die - in the midst of the marvelous.

There are two fatal errors that keep great projects from coming to life: 1. Not finishing 2. Not starting.