Obamacare can't work, folks. It just cannot.

If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how it is with representation.

Poverty is not the root cause of crime.

Liberals attempt through judicial activism what they cannot win at the ballot box.

We're not sexists, we're chauvinists - we're male chauvinist pigs, and we're happy to be because we think that's what men were destined to be. We think that's what women want.

End results that work that don’t involve government threaten liberals.

You know why there's a Second Amendment? In case the government fails to follow the first one.

Styrofoam and plastic milk jugs are biodegradable! Do you know what isn't biodegradable? Paper!

I think cigars are just a tremendous addition to the enjoyment of life.

The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies.

In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins?

Read the right books and we can be as wild and worry-free as we've ever wanted to be. No law can stop us reading.

Lead and develop true leaders

If you want to change the fruits, you will first have to change the roots. If you want to change the visible, you must first change the invisible.

You haven’t done anything wrong. You just haven’t done anything, and that’s what’s wrong.

I've got more friends than I've ever had in my life at the age of 39 - although given that I didn't have any friends until the age of 27, it doesn't say much - because I found the internet.

Don't write about your most emotionally charged moment as a learning thing.

And I agreed with that, and I couldn't wait to change my name anyway, because I'm not too fond of the name of Reginald. It's a very kind of '50s English name.

I don't emphasize the whatevs. I say it as if it's truly a toss-away word.

I have an underdog spirit in me, and now it feels weird to kind of get my own way more often than not.

If childhood is still a state, it is now chiefly a state of confusion.