Obedience is the road to freedom, humility the road to pleasure, unity the road to personality.

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.

Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.

I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

There's no such thing as being too Southern.

The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.

Baptists never make love standing up. They're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing.

It's better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.

You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

I'm online, therefore I am.

All love is vanquished by a succeeding love.

We're used to boy meets girl, boy likes girl, instant attraction on TV. But you throw a son in there, you throw a marriage in there, and you've got some really good character stuff.

What opinions the masses hold, or do not hold, is looked upon as a matter of indifference. They can be granted intellectual liberty becasue they have no intellect.

There is an orientalism in the most restless pioneer, and the farthest west is but the farthest east.

Could you tell night from day? No, I regard all such distinctions as logically impossible.

Give your mind a chance to travel through foreign languages.

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth.

Fantastic truths perish slower... Sappho's moon will survive the moon of Armstrong. Different computations are necessary.

My dream was to play Major League baseball. I've lived that dream.