Obstacles are only obstacles if you see them as obstacles. They can also be called opportunities.

I am Shiva, Destroyer of Worlds.

The devil doesn't come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything you've ever wished for.

You show me a truly funny girl who doesn't have emotional issues, and I'll introduce you to my stable of unicorn thoroughbreds ridden by leprechaun jockeys.

Men will treat you the way you let them. There is no such thing as 'deserving' respect; you get what you demand from people.

The great stories go to those who aren't afraid to live them

You ever wake up in the middle of the night because a couple of cats are clawing each other to death outside your window? That's what it's like listening to you speak.

I will never understand why people get so upset at things I don't even remember saying.

I laugh at people who say things like 'I'm a good person, I just do bad things.' No, that's not how it works. What you do IS who you are.

The hardest lesson I've had to learn in my life is that my intelligence is inversely correlated to my humility. The more I thought I knew, the less I actually knew.

The narcissist act is not an act. I actually am a narcissist, very much so. My world revolves around me.

We need to boost each other to get to the top. It is much more effective than stepping on each other.

Politics is the science of who gets what, when, and why.

I'm honestly so grateful to have a job when I get a job, I'm always amazed - I just appreciate what I have when I get it.

I'm not a racist or misogynist person, but I find these jokes funny, so I say them.

It's fun! Just fun...I don't think of it as a cabaret act per se, I call it more of a gig, if that makes any sense

And you let go of your chance.

When you choose the lesser of two evils, always remember that it is still an evil.

Great men of action... never mind on occasion being ridiculous; in a sense it is part of their job, and at times they all are.

I second-guess and overthink and rethink every single thing that I do.

It is war's prize to take all vantages; And ten to one is no impeach of valor.