Occasionally he would very nearly swear.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Correct the blunders on your face made through self-delusion – this would be far more fitting than to want to teach me, which is just as if a sow trying to teach Minerva.

Many Christians would prefer to hear “What a great guy” from the crowd rather than “Well done, good and faithful servant” from the Master [Matthew 25:23].

Our vision is often more abstracted by what we think we know than by our lack of knowledge.

I'm just thankful I'm surrounded by good people.

The only thing that stands between a man and what he wants from life is often merely the will to try it and the faith to believe that it is possible.

The one thing I always do is I always brush my teeth before I play. I don't know why.

I needed music today. And like always it was there for me.

I saw the lightnings gleaming rod. Reach forth and write upon the sky The awful autograph of God.

If you want him to mourn, you had best leave him nothing.