Of course, Ankh-Morpork's citizens had always claimed that the river water was incredibly pure. Any water that had passed through so many kidneys, they reasoned, had to be very pure indeed.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Are not the daily devotions conducted by these legal ecclesiastics already degenerating into a scanty attendance, and a tiresome formality?

The Imaginative Child will become the imaginative man or woman most apt to create, to invent, and therefore to foster civilization

The Jungle Bush Beaters didn't last too long as a group, but we had a pretty good time while we did.

When you've got 10,000 people trying to do the same thing, why would you want to be number 10,001?

I'm really into the idea of playing sit-down drums again. I don't know if it'll end up that way, but as of right now, that's what I'm interested in doing.

Of all the decisions an executive makes, none is as important as the decisions about people, because they determine the performance capacity of the organization.

If I have to draw attention away from some hormone-induced acne on my chin, I put on a lot of mascara.

Money is a result, wealth is a result, health is a result, illness is a result, your weight is a result. We live in a world of cause and effect.

You can't undo anything you've already done, but you can face up to it. You can tell the truth. You can seek forgiveness. And then let God do the rest.

For what but eye and ear silence the mind With the minute particulars of mankind?