Of course I want to kill you," said Skulduggery. "I want to kill most people. But then where would I be? In a field of dead people with no one to talk to.

We're not retreating, we're advancing in reverse.' --Skulduggery Pleasant

Doors are for people with no imagination.

I love you all, even those I don’t particularly like. That’s you, Beryl.

I'm sophisticated, charming, suave, and debonair, Professor. But I have never claimed to be civilized.

Kindness suits you." "Really? I think I'm quite allergic to it.

The Baron, unfortunately, turns it all the way up to eleven." "Seriously? Because, you know, that's one more evil

Well, for future reference, this is my serious face.

Plans are invitation to disappointment.

I'm placing you under arrest for murder, conspiracy to commit murder and, I don't know, possibly littering.

Are you sulking?” “Me? No. I don’t sulk.” “You sound like you’re sulking.” “I’m just waiting for the violent urges to subside.

Rejected by man, yet accepted by the Maker.

I've always wanted to wake up one day in a world where I liked the right people, and they lied me in return. I worry it'll never happen.

...when they look at me, I so badly want to be who they see.

We cannot think without language, we cannot process experience without story.

The teachers who get "burned out" are not the ones who are constantly learning, which can be exhilarating, but those who feel they must stay in control and ahead of the students at all times.

When a shadow flits across the landscape of the soul where is the substance?

Nothing is more conspicuous than a farting princess.

Like the bodies of dancers or athletes, the minds of readers are genuinely happy and self-possessed only when cavorting around, doing their stretches and leaps and jumps to the tune of words.

I've stolen a lot. Let me think about the best thing I've stolen. Stolen a lot of hearts.

We should try to achieve things for ourselves and not rely on former or past family glories with which we have no connection but the arbitrary nature of our birth.