Of course, to be fair, that was a parent's job. The world was so full of sharp bends that if they didn't put a few twists in you, you wouldn't stand a chance of fitting in.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Faith can be interested in results only, for a truth once recognized as such puts an end to the believer's thinking.

One of my favorite things: good conversation with good friends.

I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.

We are the living graves of murdered beasts, slaughtered to satisfy our appetites. How can we hope in this world to attain the peace we say we are so anxious for?

Fear has a large shadow, but he himself is small.

Waiting in line is a great opportunity to meet people, daydream, or play.

Testimony is contingent on experience, that's why we're all free spirits

The real secret to investing is that there is no secret to investing.

Illusions commend themselves to us because they save us pain and allow us to enjoy pleasure instead.

It doesn't matter to me what the genre is.