Offence is important; that's how you know you care about things. Imagine a life where you're not offended. So dull.

I don't mind not being cool; I wear a cardigan.

If you want something Scottish, go get yourself a kilt.

I went to China for a brief working visit, and I thought that Shanghai was interesting, but Beijing totally grabbed me.

I realised that to compare your insides with other people's outsides leads to unhappiness.

Christians, you and your churches don't get to be millionaires while other people have nothing at all. They're your bloody rules! Either stick to them or abandon the faith.

I have learnt that I am incapable of packing the right amount of clothing, probably because I start 10 minutes before I'm supposed to leave, and that I truly hate airports.

I find myself by default an atheist but fairly unhappily so. It would be bloody marvelous if there was a god.

I'm more pompous and self-assured and determined that if - you know - if the truth can be told so as to be understood, it will be believed.

My purist comedy friends accuse me of being a Jack of all trades and master of none.

If Pac-Man had affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in dark rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

Every day sees humanity more victorious in the struggle with space and time.

A sentence starts out like a lone traveler heading into a blizzard at midnight, tilting into the wind, one arm shielding his face, the tails of his thin coat flapping behind him.

You've got to be quick on your feet in this world if you want to survive. Though once you know the rules, it is not too hard to play the game.

To live a life you love, you must Love the life you live.

Never in history has the navy landed an army at the planned time and place. But if you land us anywhere within 50 miles of Fedela and within 1 week of D-Day. I'll go ahead and win.

I'm constantly reading and trying to enlighten myself to how the world works in its silent ways to make everything seem normal when it's actually incredibly discriminating.

If we can learn to deal with our discomfort and just relax into it we'll have a better life.

Shoes are the first adult machines we are given to master.

Everything that exists is created first in the imagination, and secondly in reality, through activity.

Of the small gifts of heaven, / It seems to me a more than equal share / At birth was given / To girls with curly hair.