Often times I'm confronted with a quote that I don't remember saying. So, on one hand it's very flattering, it is just so surreal.

We all know the moon isn't made out of green cheese...but if it was made out of barbeque spare ribs would you eat it?

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.

I've always wanted to sail around the world in a handmade boat and I built a boat.

A fashion plate, a rock star in his own mind, Megamind is more showman than deadly menace.

Whenever someone calls me ugly I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, you write on walls and you get poked by people you don't know

I have the physique a lot of people dream about having. It's my obligation to share it with the world.

Alcohol is like Photoshop for real life

I look good. I mean, really good. Hey everyone! Come and see how good I look!

I think my new iPhone 5S is broken. I pressed the home button and I'm still at work

Consistency is good, but progress is better.

The red sands of Marrakesh, sprawling at the foot of the Atlas like a wounded Leviathan....

If you're lonely when he's around, happiest when he's sad, and angry when he's overjoyed, get a new life. Without him.

Truth, for any man, is that which makes him a man.

Even a hunter cannot kill a bird which flies to him for refuge.

We are uneasy with an affectionate man, for we are positive he wants something of us, particularly our love.

I'm of the opinion that we're always on holy ground and some days it's just more apparent.

Yesterday morning Facebook was temporarily offline, leaving millions of workers unable to do anything except their jobs.

I like to drink wine more than I used to. Anyway, I'm drinking more.

I can certainly see how people are overcome by depression.