Oh, I don't know, you know, don't you know?

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.

It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

I always advise people never to give advice.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.

It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.

As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.

The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

His lips follow a trail from my mouth to my jaw, down to my throat. As he nuzzles, he suckles, nips my skin before circling back to my mouth to taste me, ravage me, own me.

I would die of lonely.

In this vast country that he had so loved, he was alone.

He is, I think, already pondering a magisterial project: that of buggering the English language, the ultimate revenge of the colonialised.

To the courtiers flushed with wine, life was pleasure, and pleasure life.

Precepts, conventions - above all traditions - have no value in art.

To disappear your complete self into a character is quite difficult. I've tried it 85 times, and I've succeeded two or three times.

I'm a runner. I like to run.

There's no use going to school unless your final destination is the library.

It takes a week to do a sitcom in Hollywood. I do a show a day in my studio, three or four shows a week.