Oh, I'm crazy all right. I do have plenty of psychoses. Multiple personality, delusional dementia, OCD. I've got them all, but most of all, I'm crazy about you.

I don't like lollipops.

Artemis Fowl will never be secondary." "I thought you were Artemis Fowl the Second?" said Holly.

Butler could kill you a hundred different ways without use of his armoury. Though I'm sure one would be quite sufficient.

I hear that you were on a date with Trouble Kelp. Are you two planning on building a bivouac any time soon?

Either that boy is the sanest creature on Earth, he thought, or he is so disturbed that our tests cannot even begin to scratch the surface.

Have you ever heard of the theory of relativity?" Artemis blinked. "Is this a joke? I have traveled through time, Doctor. I think I know a little something about relativity.

Butler was seeing the world as it was, complete with L.E.P retrival team

Being in command means making tough decisions. Not being in command means shutting up and doing what you're told. --Artemis Fowl

I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.

It's like learning to ride a unicorn. You never forget.

A crack on the road does not terminate the journey

And when the world shall listenAnd when the world shall seeAnd when the world remembersThat world shall cease to be.

Every year I spend one month just sailing, but I still work when I'm on the boat. You never separate work from leisure. A boat is like a magic world, like a little island.

Liberty consists in wholesome restraint

I think perfect love is any time you love unconditionally, without selfish intent, without concern for personal gain.

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.

I wanted to be a doctor when I was little, so I'm okay with blood and guts.

The white Christian church never raised to the heights of Christ. It stayed within the limit of culture.

Do people trip over you?

And die with decency.