Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. This Bible cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a sinner! Except this guy.

The nice thing is that, at least in Los Angeles, I'm known as a character actor and I do auditions for other things besides just cartoon shows.

Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves.

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution!

Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy.

If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing, and such and such.

All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and there was no meat, I would say 'Yo Goober! Where's the meat?'. I'm trying to impress people here Lisa. You don't win friends with salad.

To many, Homer may appear lazy and a loser, but he's just much misguided. He's boorish, sure, but well meaning and, I guess, the one thing we have in common is the pursuit of lousy diets.

There is no strong beer, just weak men

Run your race. It's the only one that will count in eternity.

That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.

Experience is valuable only if it's imbued with meaning from which one can draw salient conclusions. Otherwise, experience becomes imprisoning.

Is there anybody alive out there?

Boys, the first drink is a boon, the second is a gamble, the third is poor judgment, and then the rate of descent gets steep

This is a tragedy for the players. Their careers are short and this is money and opportunity they'll never get back.

If you're gonna be a maniac, pyro's not a good maniac.

It's the journey that's important, not the getting there!

"You're important," Nicholas interrupted quietly catching her face and turning her to peer at him. "You're the most important thing in the world to me Jo. I love you. Let me have this moment."

Fanaticism, to which men are so much inclined, has always served not only to render them more brutalized but more wicked.