Oh, what's this in my shoe? Red carpet insole. Everywhere I go, I'm walking on red carpet.

I just didn’t want to be pigeonholed as an 'ethnic comic' or an 'Asian comic.' I just wanted to be on the same playing field as everyone else.

Sometimes you gotta work a little, so you can ball a lot.

I'm an optimist - I feel like an amazing part of life is that at any moment.

I like going out and I like being single, but a growing part of me would rather just stay home, cook food with someone I really like, and do nothing.

Regardless of your ethnicity or anything, if you do great work, people will notice and you'll get hired.

Do you realize how much better the world would be if we all just treated each other the same way black dudes treat magicians?

I spend so much time on the Internet...I feel like I'm a million pages into the worst book ever, and I'm never going to stop reading.

One of the big things I miss about New York is not my friends so much; it's Shake Shack, the burger place. I miss Shake Shack.

You’re a feminist if you go to a Jay Z and Beyoncé concert, and you’re not like, ‘Mmm, I feel like Beyoncé should get 23 percent less money than Jay Z'.

I have never taken the high road, but I tell other people to 'cause then there's more room for me on the low road.

You ought to be passionate about your dreams.

Milton took vaudeville, which, if you look up 'vaudeville' in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says 'Milton Berle' - and he made it just a tremendous party.

I guess telling stories is an art. I never looked at it that way. I just started talking, and everyone started laughing. So I kept talking, and they kept laughing.

Make haste cautiously.

Every now and then say, 'What the fu©k.' 'What the fu©k' gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future.

I penetrate the hearts of good kids and criminals

I want to be better at being single, and I want to be better at feeling okay about being single. I don't need a boyfriend.

It is not by your actions that you will be saved, but by your being.

In appropriate circumstances we are justified in using humans to achieve goals (or the goal of assisting animals).

In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.