Oh yeah, I'm mentally screwed up for life. But I look good.

Screw normal. You know why? 'Cause if you're normal, the crowd will accept you. But if you're deranged, the crowd will make you their leader.

Everyone has an enemy. It's why God gave us baseball bats. Well, He gave us trees, but we knew what He meant.

I don't fail. I succeed at finding out what doesn't work.

Take the time to smell the roses. Sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee and die.

The normal make a living. The deranged make history.

I think when you sit alone with your brain too much, your own brain starts to rebel against you.

Socrates said, the unexamined life is not worth living. My dad said, Booty - mmm mmm.

I don't believe in right or left; I don't believe in Santa or Satan. I believe in things I can touch - like vodka and Oreos.

Anyone can have a relationship but if you're dating a woman who's so crazy in bed that if you aren't wearing your Kevlar one night you might never see daylight again... that's exciting.

The only thing that ever made me want to be a wife-beater is being called one. Your honor, can I have five minutes to make her not a liar, please?

I keep finding myself stifled by the company of others and then crippled by loneliness when I leave them. I am terrified and I don't even know of what, because I have lost everything already.

To reach your destination, follow the directions of your heart. It knows the way.

No, I don't have a heart of gold. It's normal - the one that gets hurt by rude words and broken promises.

You have to be strong to be a carpenter, maybe, but the director of a film doesn't need to have muscles.

I describe incidents which may or may not have happened but which are true.

Eke wonder last but nine deies never in toun.

Recreational number theory [...] is that part of number theory that is too difficult to study.

American liberty is premised on the accountability of free men and women for what they have done, not for what they may do.

Painting is concerned with the ten things you can see: these are darkness and brightness, substance and color, form and place, remoteness and nearness, movement and rest.

Rome has grown since its humble beginnings that it is now overwhelmed by its own greatness.