-Oh yes? Can you identify yourself? -Certainly. I'd know me anywhere.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

It's not about how smart you are--it's about capturing minds.

She wanted this man with an intensity that defied logic. Which was part of the reason she’d been ignoring him. A girl only had so much self-control when faced with all this deliciousness.

Not telling everything you know is not the same as telling a lie.

Buddhism is the study of how to be immeasurably happy.

Any writer who pretends to a disaffection for recognition, I think they're being duplicitous.

Apathy is the acceptance of the unacceptable.

Never confuse activity with accomplishment.

The wheels are spinning in my head all the time.

A movie is like a person. Either you trust it or you don't.

Listen to your Own Heart Concerning the Path you Wish to Travel.