Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show; it's a badge of honor as a comedian to do that show.

Even when people are rich and successful on TV shows, there's always some trouble - you have to poke holes in them, throw them out of a job, put a pie in the face.

Learn how to set goals. That's the key to everything. That includes designing your own success. You define what the goal is, it's not somebody else's goal, it's yours.

I'm a big believer in overcoming and achieving and doing things and not feeling sorry for yourself.

I love the normalcy of Cleveland. There's regular people there.

There's no way I can justify my salary level, but I'm learning to live with it.

You say tomato, I say bourbon and coke.

Things don't make me nearly as happy as talking and having a beer with my friends. And that's something everyone can do.

Liquor prohibition led to the rise of organized crime in America, and drug prohibition has led to the rise of the gang problems we have now.

I tried out for 'Jeopardy' once, when they came to Cleveland, but I didn't make it.

Most adults are knowledgeable to a child, but ignorant for their age.

No matter where we come from, there is one language we can all speak and understand from birth, the language of the heart, love.

Sometimes God seems to be killing us when He is actually saving us.

Every week I want to learn something new. And every week I want to teach someone something new.

I don't mind the dark, and because it's Christmas, we've been busy putting lights up everywhere. High, so everyone knows we're okay.

Authors need readers and not followers. Authors need review and not Likes!

What this country needs are more unemployed politicians.

Fear is a survival tool not a handicap.

Writers are not mere copyists of language; they are polishers, embellishers, perfecters. They spend hours getting the timing right so that what they write sounds completely unrehearsed.

If you wait until there is another case study in your industry, you will be too late!