Oh, you should never, never doubt what nobody is sure about.

Wherever the Catholic sun doth shine, There’s always laughter and good red wine. At least I’ve always found it so. Benedicamus Domino!

The control of the production of wealth is the control of human life itself.

When one remembers how the Catholic Church has been governed, and by whom, one realizes that it must have been divinely inspired to have survived at all.

When I am dead, I hope it may be said: His sins were scarlet, but his books were read.

The Llama is a woolly sort of fleecy hairy goat, with an indolent expression and an undulating throat; like an unsuccessful literary man.

We wander for distraction, but we travel for fulfillment.

I shoot the Hippopotamus with bullets made of platinum, because if I use the leaden one his hide is sure to flatten em.

The Church is a perpetually defeated thing that always outlives her conquerers.

These are the advantages of travel, that one meets so many men whom one would otherwise never meet, and that one feeds as it were upon the complexity of mankind

I have wandered all my life, and I have also traveled; the difference between the two being this, that we wander for distraction, but we travel for fulfillment.

If you had half as much brains as you have beard, you would have looked before you leaped.

So here I am - a 75-year-old man sitting on a bar stool in a blues club, trying to figure out exactly how I got here. Any way you look at it, it's a helluva story.

You can never make a woman happy, it's impossible. I've never met a happy woman in my life. They're always complaining about something.

Eating a tuna roll at a sushi restaurant should be considered no more environmentally benign than driving a Hummer or harpooning a manatee.

You have been second always. Tragical? No. You preferred it to the usual thing: One dull man, dulling and uxorious, One average mind- with one thought less, each year.

Now Bella, you know Jacob adores you. He naturally wants to protect you. He literally worships the ground you walk on." "Ha ha," Bella said dryly. "Earth demon. Worship the ground. Cute. Really cute.

That's Steve Howey's third-ever League goal and he's never scored more than two in a season before.

Having bowed to the inevitability of the dictum that we must eat to live, we should ignore it and live to eat.

Any religious person who says he does not really need human friends because God is his Friend is calling God a liar because He's the One Who says we also need human friends.

I am mortified by my music choices.