Okay, I'll strip. I'll tap dance. I'll sing 'La Cucaracha' in C minor.

You can't fix stupid, but you can numb it was a 2 by 4.--T-SHIRT

I stop fighting my inner demons. We're on the same side now. T-shirt

We're like the Three Musketeers, searching for truth and justice and the American way.: Glitch snorted. "More like the Three Blind Mice, stumbling around trying to find a hunk of cheese in the dark.

I went down like a drunken cowgirl trying to line dance to Metallica.

There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

Reyes Farrow. Because perfection is a dirty job, but someone has to do it.

I totally should've gone to Hogwarts when I had the chance.

I lowered the gun but didn’t holster it. Not just yet. She could turn out to be psychotic. Or a door-to-door salesperson.

I meant to behave. There were just too many other options.--T-SHIRT

Chocolate and coffee ? Together ? Whoever came up with that combination should have won a Nobel Peace Prize. Or at least a subscription to Reader's Digest.

A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.

The man of fixed ingrained principles who has mapped out a straight course and has the courage and self-control to adhere to it does not find life complex. Complexities are all of our own making.

Sites like Funny or Die and College Humor are great, but I'd say it's appealing to 80% men and 20% women.

I have never done a package tour in my life. It appeals in a way, but then I remind myself that you can't control the other people with you, which could turn out to be ghastly.

Better is the little of the righteous than the abundance of many wicked.

I don't think his elevator went all the way to the top anymore, if you know what I mean

Formatting is no substitute for writing.

The full cosmos consists of the physical stuff and consciousness. Take away consciousness and it's only dust; add consciousness and you get things, ideas, and time.

I love writing journalism because it's all over in two hours and comes straight off the top of the head. Writing novels is soooooo much harder. It's the hardest thing I've ever done.

He who plants kindness gathers love.