On Sunday, the president flies to the Azores islands to attend a summit with British Prime Minister Tony Blair and Spanish Prime Minister Jose Aznar, and here's my prediction: Bush gets voted off.

A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn't answer the phone.

Strange medical news from Pakistan: A man had a successful organ transplant with a dog. They gave the man a dog's organ. In a related story today, Keith Richards was seen chasing a mailman.

Did you see the statue topple? Bill Clinton got nostalgic seeing something that big in a beret go down.

Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with 'Hey, look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.'

I enjoyed retirement the right way linguine con vongole, red wine and plenty of truffle cheese.

The prison scandal is really hurting President Bush's poll numbers. In fact, I hear he's already working on his concession smirk.

John Kerry will be the Democratic nominee for president. Democrats finally found someone who is Al Gore without the flash and the sizzle.

The big political news, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's running for governor of California, and already, people are chanting, 'Four more vowels, four more vowels.

New rumors that Saddam Hussein is planning to flee to a castle in Libya with 10 billion dollars. Now President Bush doesn't know whether to nuke him or give him a tax cut.

President Bush spent last night calling world leaders to support the war with Iraq and it is sad when the most powerful man on earth is yelling, 'I know you're there, pick up, pick up.

I would still be singing, because it's part of my heart and my soul, and it lifts me up. Find something you would do for free.

Learned men fall into error oftenest by mistaking knowledge for wisdom.

One of the things that kept me out of trouble was doing something creative - creativity can't be judged.

Like the tender fires of stars moments of their life together, that no one knew of or would ever know of, broke upon and illuminated his memory.

That we understand something perfectly, that we accomplish something better than anyone else around us, that is what matters.

I got a long road ahead of me to make people believe i'm not actually a huge douche...

she thought I could find a way to save her soul when she died and became an undead. Right now, I was just looking to find the rent money. I’d get to my roommate’s soul later.

Why is it taken for granted that women should earn less than men? No! They have the same rights.

Hillary Clinton has this problem. The more she's seen, the more she's heard, the worse she does. This is not arguable.

You are more than the Earth, though you are such a dot: You can love and think, and the Earth cannot!