On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

Laughter is an instant vacation.

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.

The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.

Laughter is the best medicine in the world.

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Half the pleasure is in the anticipatin' of it.

I have the mentality of a winner. I first went to the Olympic Games when I was 17, three weeks after my O-levels, and I remember sitting in a dining-hall filled with the world's best athletes.

Hollywood money isn't money. It's congealed snow, melts in your hand, and there you are.

What's done to the children is done to society.

None are drawn to Christ by their calling, nor come to him by believing, but only his sheep, those whom the Father has given him,. Effectual calling runs parallel with eternal election.

Walk in the way of the Lord with simplicity and do not torment your spirit. You must hate your defects, but with a quiet hate, not troublesome and restless.

On the last couple of movies I made - big-budget Hollywood movies - I really missed being able to create my own material.

I've been solo since 1996, so I've been doing it for a while now.

I've never known, at least a modern historical instance, where the truth wasn't superior to distortion in every way.

When it comes to celebrating, act like you've been there before.