On an average day 7 minutes of news happens. Yet there are currently three full-time, 24-hour news networks.

You can truly grieve for every officer who's been lost in the line of duty in this country, and still be troubled by cases of police overreach.

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea.

Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food.

Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.

I really like to put my name on everything, so my roommate doesn't steal it. It's really a throwback to that.

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.

If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.

I want to be Tragedy, I want to be Juliet, I want to be Romeo. Thus with a kiss I die.

Become your own soulmate. Then you'll always have someone watching your back, and you'll always have someone who loves you.

Music Is Arts, soul, Lifestyle and Spirits...

If God thinks this state of war in the universe a price worth paying for free will...then we may take it it is worth paying.

When people are bewildered they tend to become credulous.

I do not have any official responsibilities related to the Australian Olympic Committee or the Federation of Athletic Associations since I am too busy with my private business.

I love Halloween! I love it so much that I used to work at a haunted house every year.

I hate clowns. You can't see what they're thinking.

Spend the rest of your life doing what God prepared you to do.

Just saying no to drugs is like just saying cheer up to a manic depressant