[On not reading newspapers:] If something important happens, your mother calls you.

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Think before you speak. Read before you think.

My favorite animal is steak.

The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.

A hobby is, of course, an abomination, as are all consuming interests and passions that do not lead directly to large, personal gain.

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.

There are two modes of transport in Los Angeles: car and ambulance. Visitors who wish to remain inconspicuous are advised to choose the latter

I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

You are nothing but your desires, dreams, thoughts, and beliefs

Divorce was very sad, obviously, but now I've gotten over it.

Having it all is easy if youre willing to work for it

The bashful are always aggressive at heart.

It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear.

If you find a neighbor in need, you're responsible for serving that neighbor in need, you're responsible for loving a neighbor just like you'd like to love yourself.

The less you know about a field, the better your odds. Dumb boldness is the best way to approach a new challenge.

Discipline is not a light switch. Discipline is a way of life.

In Christ, it's never too late, you're never too old... it's never "too anything" for Him to work positive change in your life.

Our emotions Are only “incidents” In the effort to keep day and night together.