On stage is the only place where I really know what I'm doing.

I owe it all to little chocolate donuts.

Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no!

My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.

We’re on a mission from God.

We don't need no stinking badges!

I hate Illinois Nazis.

In your 20s, you feel like you're indestructible...In your 30s, you think...I'll be around here a little longer, so I'm going to take better care of myself.

Christ. Seven years of college down the drain.

I give so much pleasure to so many people. Why can I not get some pleasure for myself?

Some comedians love their characters. I don't fall in love with mine. In fact, I get tired of them very fast. You have to be willing to throw it all away.

Lord Ironman, please play tonsil hockey with me, just this one time. There, does that make you happy?

Love, friendship, laughter... Some of the best things in life really are free.

Everybody has their burdens, their grief that they carry with them.

Yoga is about how you live your life all of the time.

I feel as though I haven't seen an object until I actually start painting it.

Those days [of the Vietnam War] you couldn't get on a bus going to the South without expecting a riot over something or the other. All of that has disappeared thanks to Lyndon Johnson.

Turkeys are misunderstood. Once I adopted turkeys, I understood this large bird to be a great companion.

So the actual privilege is that you can then take time off - and if you don't, you're a fool. You're earning all this money to support children whom you then don't see, which is absurd.

A great danger, or at least a great temptation, for many writers is to become too autobiographical in their approach to their fiction. A little autobiography and a lot of imagination are best.

When you love a problem, its contours, obstacles and resistances are all just part of its character.