On the correctly formed pubescent girl, a Speedo looked wonderful. When it was wet, it was an incitement to riot.

Whoever called snooker "chess with balls" was rude, but right.

Snooker is just chess with balls.

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.

The British secret service was staffed at one point almost entirely by alcoholic homosexuals working for the KGB

A sceptic finds Dallas absurd. A cynic thinks the public doesn't

It is only when they go wrong that machines remind you how powerful they are.

A life without fame can be a good life, but fame without a life is no life at all.

Fiction is life with the dull bits left out.

Disco dancing is just the steady thump of a giant moron knocking in an endless nail.

They had a... dog called Bluey. A know psychopath, Bluey would attack himself if nothing else was available.

To love as God loves means loving not just others like us, but those who are not.

Everyone should see at least one street race before they die.

Time is a treasure on earth.

It's a shame that we humans are never able to pull in the same direction . . . [n]ot even when confronted by infinity.

It is not our circumstances that c reate our discontent or contentment. It is us.

The human spirit fails, except when the Holy Spirit fills.

When you have the arrogance, the confidence and you can't cook, then you're only going to look stupid.

It's easier to make an album, harder to figure out how to get people to notice it.

You don't choose a film because it's made by a woman, you choose it because it's good.

I have tried and failed to lead a conventional life. When I try to be like other people, I fall out of bed.