On the murder of New York deli owner Abe Lebewohl: It's almost like wiping out Carnegie Hall. A sandwich to a Jew is just as important as a country to a Gentile.

Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

My grandfather always said, Don't watch your money, watch your health. So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.

Ladies and gentlemen, you can't please everyone. Take my girlfriend - I think she's the most remarkable woman in the world. . . . That's me . . . But to my wife . . .

It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.

Blacks can get into medical school with a lower grade ... If that's true, a Jew should be able to play basketball with a lower net.

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

My father was a very successful businessman, but he was ruined in the stock market crash. A big stockbroker jumped out the window and fell on his pushcart.

America is the only country in the world where you can burn the flag but can't tear the tag off the mattress.

Did you know that the Jews invented sushi? That's right - two Jews bought a restaurant with no kitchen.

Who would have guessed that four minutes could change everything?

Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments.

I think maybe it is better to believe than not to believe. But I couldn't tell you why.

Many fortunes, like rivers, have a pure source, but grow muddy as they grow large.

Who's not a fan of Don Williams? He's the gentle giant.

Often a man goes on for years imaging that the religious teaching that had been imparted to him since childhood is still intact, while all the time there is not a trace of it left in him.

High politic is only common sense applied to great things.

Focus on the process of what it takes to be successful.

You can share your testimony in many ways, by the words you speak, by the example you set, by the manner in which you live your life.

I guess if you're that thin and that small you don't need to take up too much space or breathe that much air. You just keep on going.