On the whole I prefer cats to women because cats seldom if ever use the word 'relationship'.

I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn't hold 'em under long enough.

Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.

I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow.

And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians.

Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and be honest.

Poly means more than one, and ticks are bloodsucking parasites.

Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people.

I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes.

When a stray animal crosses your path, it may be as close to God as you're going to get in this lifetime.

People may surprise you with unexpected kindness. Dogs have a depth of loyalty that often we seem unworthy of. But the love of a cat is a blessing, a privilege in this world.

Sic vis pacem para bellum - if you want peace, prepare for war.

But my humble opinion is, I'm not quite sure where I stand on the legalization of drugs - though, if tequila is legal, pot should probably be legal.

I have always known a thing before it happens.

Oh, but Aunt Polly, Aunt Polly, you haven't left me any time at all just to- to live.

Low inflation and government prudence may be harmful for economic development.

Paul Scholes should be included in England's Euro 2012 squad.

When debtors once have borrowed all we have to lend, they are very apt to grow shy of their creditors' company.

The good news is that Jesus is praying for us. The bad news is that we are going to need it!

Our bills shall not be killed.

I think my dad is this great, wonderful... man with a lot of integrity, who is fighting for things he believes in and is serious in what he wants to see happen and serious in helping people.