Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.

There is a love of wild nature in everybody, an ancient mother-love showing itself whether recognized or no, and however covered by cares and duties

Some activities may look attractive, but you don’t have any business dating them, else they break you up. It may be good, but not right. Flee from good things and do right things!

Share the passion and action of your time at peril of being judged not to have lived.

Success is when the checks don’t bounce.

My young friend, I wish that science would intoxicate you as much as our good Göttingen beer! Upon seeing a student staggering down a street.

Daniel Radcliffe told me once that you should always keep the people around you that you know are going to tell you the truth.

If my mind can conceive it, and my heart can believe it, I know I can achieve it.

I'm looking to be shot any time I step out of my car... If I die, it will be in a good cause. I've been fighting for America just as much as the soldiers in Vietnam.

I'm very much an admirer of people who are reaching for things and trying to survive.

I want to fight for what we got because I believe in family.