Once a month, some women act like men act all the time.

If a grasshopper tries to fight a lawnmower, one may admire his courage but not his judgement.

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.

You can sway a thousand men by appealing to their prejudices quicker than you can convince one man by logic.

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

I never learned from a man who agreed with me.

A generation which ignores history has no past — and no future.

Don't ever become a pessimist... a pessimist is correct oftener than an optimist, but an optimist has more fun, and neither can stop the march of events.

May you live as long as you wish and love as long as you live.

It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so.

For those without money, the road to that treasure house of the imagination begins at the public library.

After I won the Oscar, my salary doubled, my friends tripled, my children became more popular at school, my butcher made a pass at me, and my maid hit me up for a raise.

... what you need more than anything in life is a definite position.

I use no Porter ... in my family, but such as is made in America: both these articles may now be purchased of an excellent quality.

If anything needs love it is reality, for it is reality that lacks it the most - I doubt that it was ever loved.

A person who has a cat by the tail knows a whole lot more about cats than someone who has just read about them.

You know it as soon as you walk in Yankee Stadium. The electricity is there every time, every day.

The antidote to this abuse of formal Government, is, the influence of private character, the growth of the Individual.

If thou least fallen into sin through violent temptations, seek speedily for repentance for it, recovery out of it, and reformation from it.

Crazy isn't being broken, or swallowing a dark secret. It's you or me, amplified.