Once a week, I like to slip into a deep existential depression where I lose all my sense of oneness and self-worth.

Quotes are for dumb people who can't think of something intelligent to say on their own.

I love you just the way you are but you don't see you like I do. You shouldn't try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you.

I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer

If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?

Laughter is the best medicine, y'know, besides medicine.

Squaring numbers are just like women. If they're under thirteen, just do them in your head.

If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no.

I stopped and I thought, 'What would Jesus do?' So I didn't exist.

Maybe life on earth could be heaven, doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try?

Where are all the sour patch parents?

Keep expecting and believing that your due season is coming. Declare that the good you have harvested in your life will manifest.

Negative situations can never overwhelm a positive mind.

The thing I like about Irish whiskey is that the more you drink the smoother it goes down. Of course that's probably true of antifreeze as well, but illusion is nearly all we have.

God has blessed me with an amazing family, friends and work colleagues that have been my joy, my support, and my sanity. I don't know what I'd do without them.

Public feeling now is apt to side with the persecuted, and our modern martyr is full as likely to be smothered with roses as with coals.

Martial arts is for defense. It's not for attacking. So when people are fighting, always, always, defend.

I think it is fatal to specialize. And all kinds of things show us that and that the more diverse we are in what we can do, the better.

I don't know what 'Mad Men' has done for my fan base. I didn't know that I still had a fan base, to be honest.

Being bilingual is like having a wife and a mistress. One can never be sure of either.

The TV provides pictures, therefore creates fame, and that's what makes it seductive to a lot of people. They want to be famous. They want to be recognized. And I've gotten all that out of my system.