Once during Prohibition I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.

The man in our society is the breadwinner; the woman has enough to do as the homemaker, wife and mother.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon - and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.

The tiniest of actions is always better than the boldest of intentions

Shit happens. But so does magic." ~ Celia Wird, SEALED WITH A CURSE: A Weird Girls Novel

The secret of success is constancy of purpose.

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

I have four dogs, four horses, a cat, and a bunch of wild frogs

I'm a neurotic Jew who doesn't want loans. I can't even carry a balance on my credit card without having a nervous breakdown.

I think as far as kids go, you just have to work hard. Work on your skills, keep focused.

National Socialism and Christianity are irreconcilable.

For no one loves the bearer of bad tidings.

People who vote against this today are voting against me and I will not forget.