Once he saw the officials of a temple leading away some one who had stolen a bowl belonging to the treasurers, and said, "The great thieves are leading away the little thief."

He has the most who is most content with the least.

We have two ears and one tongue so that we would listen more and talk less.

I pissed on the man who called me a dog. Why was he so surprised?

In a rich man's house there is no place to spit but his face.

Plato had defined Man as an animal, biped and featherless, and was applauded. Diogenes plucked a fowl and brought it into the lecture-room with the words, "Behold Plato's man!"

I am Diogenes the Dog. I nuzzle the kind, bark at the greedy and bite scoundrels.

He lit a lamp in broad daylight and said, as he went about, "I am looking for a human."

It is not that I am mad, it is only that my head is different from yours.

I am not an Athenian or a Greek, but a citizen of the world.

One original thought is worth a thousand mindless quotings

Once you can communicate with yourself, you'll be able to communicate outwardly with more clarity. The way in is the way out.

Who loves not Knowledge? Who shall rail Against her beauty? May she mix With men and prosper! Who shall fix Her pillars? Let her work prevail.

I?m much bigger in Britain than I am there. I'm well-known, but my name's That Guy in America. . . . People shout: "Hey ? I know you! You're That Guy.".

You get used to seeing certain things, and if you don't find a new way to talk about it, then frankly at some point you need to get out of the way.

Having the critics praise you is like having the hangman say you've got a pretty neck.

I've never worked on a lawyer show for a long time, but I imagine the actors all start acting like lawyers.

I particularly like Twitter, because it's short and can be very funny and informative. It's a little bit like having your own radio program.

There's something in the human personality which resents things that are clear, and conversely, something which is attracted to puzzles, enigmas, and allegories.

Let me have war, say I; it exceeds peace as far as day does night; it's spritely, waking, audible, and full of vent.