Once upon a time the plural of 'wizard' was 'war'.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

When you were in love, you were capable of learning everything and of knowing things you had never dared even to think, because love was the key to understanding all of the mysteries.

Happiness is heaven in human heart.

The moment one is born, the ‘saw starts cutting’. People consider it as death only when the wood breaks in two pieces [during funeral]. But it was being cut from the very beginning.

We need steel spines, not weak knees when it comes to political independence in the Department of Justice.

Historically, means cannot be separated from ends.

It takes at least one to make a marriage.

Practice yourself what you preach.

As long as you are lucky, you will have many friends; if cloudy times appear, you will be alone. -Donec eris felix, multos numerabis amicos; tempora si fuerint nubila, solus eris

Now I feel life is really short and I have to take care of things.

I realize that singing is saving my life, once I started again.