Once you start doing only what you've already proven you can do, you're on the road to death.

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it, it's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.

We both wanted to know each other's secrets, and we both wanted the other person to go first.

Qui me amat, amet et canem meum. (Who loves me will love my dog also.)

Every State is a dictatorship.

Readers embrace all kinds of characters as long as they are written with emotional truth.

Children are our most valuable natural resource.

Doubt that creed which you cannot reduce to practice.

Brains are far more important than money or connections. Everyone and anyone can create a business out of their bedroom.

Secretary [John] Kerry has called Civil War [in Syria] an unbelievably small war that we're going to get involved with.

Faith in Christ makes one a regenerated believer; obedience to the Holy Spirit makes him a spiritual believer.

Let your mind wander in simplicity, blend your spirit with the vastness, follow along with things the way they are, and make no room for personal views-then the world will be governed.