Once you've been booked, people in Hollywood say, 'Oh he must be good.' All the while you're the same actor.

If you have a dream, just lie about it. Lie your way unto your dreams.

Joel McHale is so money, he should be printed on money.

In prison, inmates sometimes use Cheetos and grape juice as makeup. I wouldn't use that beauty regimen around Britney Spears - she might lick your face off!

I loved New Jersey. I thought it was the greatest place in the world because on Halloween kids could start trick or treating right after school. Isn't that great?

I used humor as survival, as a weapon and as comfort.

People have always said since TV was invented what a cultural wasteland it is but I think it is the worst and the best. It is the golden age of television.

I think we are as screwed as a culture as we are saved as a culture.

I don't think the NFL had the slightest intention of taking me, except as maybe a water boy.

Yes, I would say my comedy is grunge, evidenced by the fact my jokes have put an end to big-hair glam comedy.

I knew I wanted to be an actor. I just kept saying, "Until somebody tells me to stop, until I have to go get a real job, and until I'm practically homeless, I'm not gonna get one."

It is pointless waiting for the moment because you are already in the moment so just get started!

Inside the museums, | Infinity goes up on trial | Voices echo this is what salvation must be like after a while

They say “Dream Big”, but the real concept Nothing Impossible.

I think I became a Catholic to annoy my father.

Big league defense is going to get outs most times.

I've learned to feel good when I feel good. it's better to be driven around in a red porsche than to own one. the luck of the fool is inviolate.

There are more than 9,000 billing codes for individual procedures and units of care. But there is not a single billing code for patient adherence or improvement, or for helping patients stay well.

Look up and down and round about you.!

The shelter of excuses has a leaky roof.

In a contest between me and a bulldog, you would say the bulldog is cuter.