One bliss for which there is no match is when you itch to up and scratch.

Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.

Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, were it not for making living, which is rather a nouciance.

The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Behold the Zebra on the plains, And shudder at his mighty manes!

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.

When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I love were not yet born.

Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

When you live.. You can die.. Accept it... ..and become fearless

When a presidential candidate is publicly requesting help from the Russians, you know that there is something seriously going wrong in the USA.

Trees are as close to immortality as the rest of us ever come.

Armchair hater, I wouldn't piss on your coffin But when I see your picture I draw dicks on it.

Painters have always needed a sort of veil upon which they can focus their attention. It's as though the more fully the consciousness is absorbed, the greater the freedom of the spirit behind

Any story that you tell about yourself causes suffering. There is no authentic story.

One can lie with the mouth, but with the accompanying grimace one nevertheless tells the truth.

We don't grow on accident, we grow on purpose.

I like giving. Doing something for somebody else feels good.

My label is just "good farming", which isn't something you can put on a t-shirt.