One can be certain that every generally held idea, every received notion, will be idiocy because it has been able to appeal to the majority

A day without laughter is a day wasted.

Contemplation often makes life miserable. We should act more, think less, and stop watching ourselves live.

The sunset glow of self-possession.

There are more people who wish to be loved than there are who are willing to love.

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.

The most wasted day of all is that on which we have not laughed.

The only thing that stops God from sending another flood is that the first one was useless.

Pleasure can be supported by an illusion; but happiness rests upon truth.

Intelligent people make many mistakes because they cannot believe the world is really as foolish as it is.

Society is divided into two classes, the shearers and the shorn.

Sometimes cheap is inexpensive. Sometimes it's cheap.

In the Middle Ages, bloodletting was often performed by barbers, which is why the traditional barber’s pole—like the bloody towels that once hung outside barber shops—is colored red and white.

I don't know that I can say what exactly love means to me because it would be hard to put that into perspective.

It is very difficult to tell Americans that they can't do something.

Anybody who witnesses the suffering of animals and has a glimmer of hope of reducing that suffering can't take the position that it's all or nothing. We have to be pragmatic. Screw the principle.

The heaviest snowfall in over 60 years is being reported in Beijing, China. To give you an idea of how bad it is, the army is now using snowplows to run over dissidents.

...if you are one tardy away from missing out on a big competition, you should probably make your coffee at home.

When you are going through something that heavy, for me anyway, I couldn't imagine writing about anything else. I always tend to write about what's most prevalent in my mind.

When I am in London, I think my favourite city is London, but when I am in New York, I feel it is New York. It is very hard to choose between the two.