One cannot live through a long stretch of years without forming some philosophy of life.

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become president. I'm beginning to believe it.

True patriotism hates injustice in its own land more than anywhere else.

You can only protect your liberties in this world by protecting the other man's freedom.

I have never killed any one, but I have read some obituary notices with great satisfaction.

The law does not pretend to punish everything that is dishonest. That would seriously interfere with business.

I don't believe in God because I don't believe in Mother Goose.

A criminal is someone without the capital to incorporate

I am not afraid of any god in the universe who would send me or any other man or woman to hell. If there were such a being, he would not be a god; he would be a devil.

I don't like spinach, and I'm glad I don't, because if I liked it I'd eat it, and I just hate it.

Lost causes are the only ones worth fighting for.

Jesus was more forgiving to those who made mistakes in love than to those who judged each other harshly and were cold of heart.

The only known technique to an imitator is to steal and rephrase, then with a mischievous smile, he said, "i did it", without any confidence and prove.

Marrying an old bachelor is like buying second-hand furniture.

The satisfaction comes from working next to 500 photographers and coming away with something different.

Mitt Romney was a guest on 'The Tonight Show' on NBC. It's interesting — you have an empty suit trying to please everyone, and then Romney comes out.

It is a strange form of anger, difficult to cure, when two friends turn upon each other in hatred.

I went straight from shenanigans to crimes against humanity.

The tap'ring pyramid, the Egyptian's pride, And wonder of the world, whose spiky top Has wounded the thick cloud.

Those who don’t read the newspapers are better off than those who do insofar as those who know nothing are better off than those whose heads are filled with half-truths and lies.

I love to make movies about young people - young scientists that are inventing things and all the writing they did was very funny and very true.