One day I'd like to beat you at your own game, but your game is badmitton so that will probably never happen.

If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.

Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.

Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal.

It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.

Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.

Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it.

Half of the modern drugs could well be thrown out of the window, except that the birds might eat them.

To keep from going stale you must forget your professional outlook and rediscover the virginal eye of the amateur.

Quickness more than anything else should determine your amount of pressure on the ball.

I see something that has to be done and I organize it.

I know it is the fans that are responsible for me being here. I've always tried in each and every broadcast to serve the fans to the best of my ability.

Compatible comes from the Latin "compati", meaning "to suffer with". If you are not willing to suffer with someone until death do you part, then you are not compatible.

A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost. She should go far. The sooner she starts, the better. The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of its behind.

I want to win. That's the most important thing.

In America, people are so busy. Even the children are busy. I get the impression very few of us are touching the miracle that you are alive.