One day I'll be dead and THEN you'll all be sorry.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Travelling is the best way to introduce ourselves to the universe!

I need protein from food rather than just protein supplements. I changed my diet.

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground.

The more powerful a person or institution is, the more transparent - open to public inspection or oversight - its activities should be. The less powerful, the less transparent.

The glorious lamp of heaven, the radiant sun, Is Nature's eye.

War is a specific product of civilization.

Although birth control is a part of my plan now, it won't necessarily be a year from now. I want to use my platform to inspire other women out there.

Religion worships God, while superstition profanes that worship.

Midterm elections for first-term presidents are notoriously difficult.

I don't have feathers, but I feel like a bird sometimes.