One day a guy tried to rob me on the street, and I had no money. So I charged him.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

I'm so

It is not, after all, so very hard to acquire a fortune; the real difficulty is to deserve one.

Whoever mourns the dead mourns himself.

Working as a solo artist has given me a confidence that I didn't have with Blondie.

Regis Philbin is very successful in his own right. We have a new thing where he have chairs and we sit and talk to each other about my career and his career. It works pretty well if I do say so.

Our ignorance is God; what we know is science.

Well o' course she's feelin' dandy! She's the mother o' God for the love o' Pete!

I think Amy is a really difficult example. With any artist, none of us understands what it's like having the world's media scrutinising everything you do.

The gym is the best place you'll ever be.

McKinley shows all the background of a chocolate eclair.