One good thing about TV is, if you die violently, God forbid, on camera, you will not have died in vain because you will be great entertainment.

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.

There is a tragic flaw in our precious constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.

I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center.

He didn't look like a soldier at all. He looked like a filthy flamingo.

Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae.

Perhaps I am the turtle, able to live simply anywhere, even underwater for short periods, with my home on my back.

About astrology and palmistry: they are good because they make people vivid and full of possibilities. They are communism at its best. Everybody has a birthday and almost everybody has a palm.

We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Loving someone but not trusting them is a spiritual emergency.

Liberty cannot be established without morality, nor morality without faith.

Megadeth is a legend, and I'm not gonna cheapen it like some of these bands that keep going long after they should.

Look to the seasons when choosing your cures

Some people we define as trolls are just critics. Sometimes they have a point. And I hear them. But for the ones who comment "I want to kill you in your sleep," I respond to them too.

The Ramones own the fountain of youth. Experiencing us is like having the fountain of youth.

My teachers helped guide and motivate me; but the responsibility of learning was left with me, an approach to learning which was later reinforced by my experiences at Amherst.

Harassment is about power---the undue exercise of power by a superior over a subordinate.

I got a king-sized bed. I don't know any kings, but if one came over, I guess he'd be comfortable.

The Limbaugh Theorem was not about me giving me credit for something. It was simply sharing with you when the light went off.