One has not only an ability to perceive the world but an ability to alter one's perception of it; more simply, one can change things by the manner in which one looks at them.

Reality whistles a different tune underwater.

We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.

Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business.

Religion is not merely the opium of the masses, it's the cyanide.

In the haunted house of life, art is the only stair that doesn't creak.

The beet is the most intense of vegetables

Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature.

It is better to be small, colorful, sexy, careless, and peaceful.

To achieve the impossible; it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought.

We're our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves.

The most formidable thing standing between your dreams and you

He started to sing as he tackled the thing That couldn't be done and he did it.

Communism is like one big phone company.

A man may be born, but in order to be born he must first die, and in order to die he must first awake.

The gift is for you...The surprise is for me.

Enjoy things even when you’re screwing up.

Travelling through the world produces a marvellous clarity in the judgment of men. We are all of us confined and enclosed within ourselves, and see no farther than the end of our nose.

I improvised my life along the way - I just moved step-by-step. And I knew that if I got better, something would happen.

I'm personally not into a guy who wears pedal pushers and a necklace.

When you're doing standup you're kind of doing, "Hey. I thought of this. This may be funny.