One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.

Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.

Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, were it not for making living, which is rather a nouciance.

The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Behold the Zebra on the plains, And shudder at his mighty manes!

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.

When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I love were not yet born.

Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

Perhaps, there is no such person who can be called truly free, but only those who can be deemed so by comparison.

Soothing the exhaustionIn my soul, So I can fall back skyward, Safe in your arms, And survive to dream again.

Just remember, kid, you can quicker get back a million dollars that was stole than a word that you gave away.

It is the function of the Navy to carry the war to the enemy so that it will not be fought on U.S. soil.

I read more books for research purposes, whether its a fictionalized biography of Johannes Gutenberg or a stack of urban fantasies.

Anesthesia: wounds without pain. Neurasthenia: pain without wounds.

Life is always walking up to us and saying, "Come on in, the living's fine," and what do we do? Back off and take its picture.

People can say you're fat because you're filling a void, or you eat for all these emotional reasons. I said, 'I don't need to focus on this anymore. It doesn't matter why I'm fat. Let's fix it.

The State may justify a limitation on religious liberty by showing it is essential to accomplish an overriding governmental interest.