One may no more live in the world without picking up the moral prejudices of the world than one will be able to go to hell without perspiring.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

Riley : "Do you want to claw at me, kitty-cat? Come on."Mercy: "Sorry, I don't beat defenseless puppies.

Life is an incredible adventure into the mysterious unknown future.

I think it's nice for stars to do interviews to make us think they are just like us, but to tell you the truth, I get the feeling that it's all a big lie. The problem is I don't know who's lying.

The Americans don't like the American look but the Europeans just eat it up.

Teachers craft classrooms that are good matches for their teaching styles as well as for learner needs.

Why do we need another station where everyone has a gun? We already have BET.

There was a time when people said, 'Jim, if you keep on making faces, your face will freeze like that.' Now they just say, 'Pay him!'

Things had a way of working out for the best when you let them run their course.

When economic modernizations come in, say goodbye to wildlife.