One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her "you cooked it, you take it out".

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.

Go forward and accomplish your God-given goals.

Until you become so passionate about you and your business no one will. You are your first cheerleader and business promoter.

Don’t under-rate the scope of your influence in your youth. Don’t think you have all the time to make a difference in this world. Recognize that both brown and green leaves fall to the ground.

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.

God will be there for you when no one else is. He will walk with you on every mountain. He will carry you through every valley. He will never leave you or forsake you. You don't need me

I believe through learning and application of what you learn, you can solve any problem, overcome any obstacle and achieve any goal that you can set for yourself.

I’m beginning to know myself. I don’t exist. I’m the space between what I’d like to be and what others made of me. Just let me be at ease and all by myself in my room.

We live at home, quiet, confined, and our feelings prey upon us.

I went out on my own, years ago, to try to create some additional choices in a parallel universe.

... wealth and female softness equally tend to debase mankind!