One of my girlfriends was getting married. This was becoming an annoying pattern.

Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator, not another person.

There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.

I never say the things I really want to. If I did, I'd have no friends.

A hotel room all to myself is my idea of a good time.

I was in a tailspin of confusion I hadn't experienced since the first time I heard George W. Bush speak.

If I had seen pictures of people eating each other on the wall, I would've told him I was into cannibalism.

I don't like to overdose. Call me old-fashioned.

I have a question. Is it okay to drink while you're pregnant...if you're planning on giving the baby up for adoption?

My mother agreed to aid my abuse of alcohol but only if I promised never to tell my newly converted Mormon sister, whose identity I had stolen.

Music resembles poetry, in eachAre nameless graces which no methods teach, And which a master hand alone can reach.

In their faces--plenty of them were handsome, but ruined--I've seen the remnants of who they almost succeeded in being but failed to be, before becoming themselves.

If you want to change the world, find someone to help you paddle.

I've also gotten to play in front of a million people in Central Park when there was a grass roots movement calling for nuclear disarmament - it was about 1982 - they called it Peace Sunday.

We looked at the venerable stream not in the vivid flush of a short day that comes and departs forever, but in the august light of abiding memories.

It's priceless what you learn when you actually do. It's like going to film school times eleven. The best education is effectively to be functioning in the occupation that you want to take on.

The president made very clear to leaders in Congress from right after the election that repealing and replacing Obamacare will be the first priority of this administration.

You can't enter the Olympics unless you do your routine to get in shape for it. The idea of going out on stage on a tour without having prepped for it would be suicide, literally.

So many people are shut up tight inside themselves like boxes, yet they would open up, unfolding quite wonderfully, if only you were interested in them.

Soon I will honor my parents by dying as they died. and if all they believed about death was true, soon I will join them in whatever comes next.