One of the best ways of avoiding necessary and even urgent tasks is to seem to be busily employed on things that are already done.

The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness.

Oligopoly is an imperfect monopoly. Like the despotism of the Dual Monarchy, it is saved only by its incompetence.

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite.

But there is merit even in the mentally retarded legislator. He asks the questions that everyone is afraid to ask for fear of seeming simple.

Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists.

If all else fails immortality can always be assured by adequate error.

The process by which banks create money is so simple that the mind is repelled.

There is certainly no absolute standard of beauty. That precisely is what makes its pursuit so interesting.

Simple minds, presumably, are the easiest to manage.

Every corner of the public psyche is canvassed by some of the most talented citizens to see if the desire for some merchandisable product can be cultivated.

Always be like a water. Float in the times of pain or dance like waves along the wind which touches its surface.

Forbearance in the face of fate, beauty constant under torture, are not merely passive. They are a positive achievement, an explicit triumph.

Pure logic is the ruin of the spirit.

What kind of moron would go to work for half the amount of money, when they could sit at home and collect what's written in a contract?

I don't think anybody comes close to The Beatles, including Oasis

Genius is gifted with a vitality which is expended in the enrichment of life through the discovery of new worlds of feeling.

I tend to work towards specific exhibitions, so there will often be a big push towards the end when we're finishing off a bunch of stuff.

Good intentions are invariably ungrammatical.

He found a new way to cover up his bad breath. He holds up his arms.

A reader should be able to identify a column without its byline or funny little picture on top purely by look or feel, or its turgidity ratio.