One of the commonest mistakes is thinking your worries are over when your children get married.

Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.

The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.

The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.

It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

the flicker of a memoryis all we can cling tofor our cherished ghostsFrom "Cat Paws on a Windscreen

I push him from my mind. This is no act of easy omission on my part

A person realizes inner calm and a state of rapturous peacefulness with nature whenever they stand in solitude and contemplate their existence in an infinite world filled with multiple galaxies.

I don't look at myself in the mirror. I'll flash past a mirror in the morning to check how I'm dressed, that's it.

If work was a good thing, the rich would have it all and not let you do it.

It is only fair to admit, however, that my batting average in the crystal ball league is point, zero, zero, zero.

You speak your mind, don't you...? A rare find in a woman.

Facts are irrelevant. What matters is what the consumer believes.

Some wedges are great but you can look like your feet are encased in cement.

Tell the Earth how much you care, how beautiful she is, and how much you love her. Ask for her forgiveness for having been so careless.